i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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