Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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