You really coming over, don't trick.
Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize