I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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