dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
