If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
