I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
