Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
