This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
