I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Terrible idea I love it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
