im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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