Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
