The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They have beer where we have blood.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
