whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
