I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
