Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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