This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
