you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize