Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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