Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
