Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
