well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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