just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
