tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
