Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
