Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
