he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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