So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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