What did we do last night that was yellow?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize