Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
