He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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