"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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