Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
