I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she peed on how many people?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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