told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
