He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
