There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
