Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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