Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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