I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
