I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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