my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
