I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You work out of a Hotel?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
