I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
