those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
