Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
