Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
