My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
