He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
