ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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