i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
