How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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