Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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