You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
