look no pants
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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