At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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