is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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