What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
