Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
