Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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