i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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