I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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