it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
