ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
