She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
