Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
