I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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